​When Pigs Fly.

When Pigs Fly… That’s what she said before leaving. I just stood at my window, lost in thought. It took a moment, but I came back to reality and noticed I was running late for work. I took my bath, dressed up, and rushed out the door. The street was as busy as always, the cars zooming back and forth. Cyclists going about their normal routine, students on their way to school… I sat on a bench, beneath a maple tree, waiting for the company bus. My hand reflexively moved toward the tip of the brown scarf around my neck. It reminded me of something I’d tucked away.

‘A promise’ or at least I saw it that way. The air was as heavy as now when she said it. Sylvia… yeah, that was her name. We were friends throughout college. I wasn’t sure why, but after completion, I spoke up. Told her how I felt about her, but reality does love to play cruel jokes, you know?

She was nothing short of gorgeous. I’d always get lost in those emrald eyes of hers. It was as deep as the ocean yet, so… mesmerizing. Every time we walked home, we’d hold hands… touching those soft palms of hers… what more could I want? We had a connection, a really deep one. Or was it one-sided?

We stood beneath a Lilac Tree in the season of autumn. I’d complemented her dark silky skin before saying, “Sylvia… I-I am grateful for being your friend all this while. Thank you very much. And now that we’ve completed, contact won’t be that close… so I want to say it now.” I gripped the sides of my trousers tighter as her gaze pressed hard on me.

“Okay.” She replied with a smile—my hearth skipped a beat.

I swallowed hard as I continued, “I-I like you—romantically.” I closed my eyes after, waiting for her reply. I slowly opened it as she replied “Phil… Thanks for being honest, but I’m sorry we can’t be more than friends…”

My eyes widened, and it was like the universe fractured in front of me. The pieces fell to the ground.

“…maybe when pigs fly, we could even get married.” She smiled.

This time, that smile was like a dagger. It stabbed me so hard that I’m yet to heal from it. All those moments we shared together… all those ‘us’ moments… I guess I overthought things. Haha~ I just replied with an “Okay,” turned, and walked away as she walked back toward her dad’s car. I stopped to look back to see if she’d do the same… she didn’t.

Honk! The bus had arrived. I got on and sat behind the driver’s seat and stared out the window while listening to Danny Lewis.’ I hate that it’s true. Those words resonate with me so well that I hate it.

Could I be with her again? Maybe I’m being delusional, but it’s just… why does it hurt so bad. It’s been three years since then. Why?! Why?

My lips shivered a bit, then a tear followed, but I quickly wiped it off with the scarf. The brown scarf… she gave it to me during our second year, the weather was really cold.

If only Pigs could fly… but they never will. Just like us.

If I saw her… I wonder what I’d say. Ha~ “Who am I kidding? There’s no way that’s happening.”

The bus finally arrived. My workplace is a hotel. I alighted, but something was amiss. Normally, it’d be crowded at the entrance… so I hurried inside. My bag fell from my hand the moment I stepped in. Reality truly is cruel. Sylvia was there… but not alone. Couldn’t she have waited for the pigs to fly? She stood at the counter with a man who could only be her husband. They wore the same ring around their ring fingers with a stroller beside them. She looked my way but quickly looked away.

Did she not notice me? Have I changed that much? My heartbeat became faster and faster. A cold sweat broke from my forehead, and the air became too thick to breathe. Before I knew it, everything became blurry, the light bulbs drew closer as the stairway fluctuated between nearness and distance Then it all went black.

When I “woke up,” I stood atop a cliff, Sylvia and I. Our hands wrapped in each other’s with pigs flying around us. I muttered, “You promised,” with a smirk. She laughed, “I know~”

Our lips drew nearer and nearer, but before they touched, I heard a voice, muffled and distant, but at the moment, no one was around us. Slowly, Sylvia, who was in my arms, began to fade away.

Then I woke up. The lights dangled above. A hospital bed.

Pigs don’t fly… they could never.

[Creative process: I thought of this once, using the when pigs fly idiom to write something. Initially the ending was that the pig really flew but it was orchestrated. Somewhat a sham. So, they’d get to be together. The flipside was it’ll be like a fairytale. (I honestly didn’t plan on writing it anytime soon.) But then today, while listening to Dean Lewis’ album (the epilogue) I just picked up my phone and started typing and all this came through… I made some changes here there after rereading.]