​envy

Envy, the strongest emotion that you and I feel.

The hatred towards those who are better than I am in something we exceed in

those who are more gifted than i am

knowing that I worked hours, months—YEARS

then seeing someone achieve it within days?

it’s unfair, truly it is—

to the extent of making me want to tear my skin off with my nails just to glue it back on just to repeat the process over and over.

unfair, I dare say!

why do they get to be at the same level as me?

are my efforts deemed unworthy?

are my dreading hours of working myself to the extent of burnt out deemed futile?

Is this my Lord, punishing me?

Are the days that I spent chasing after this futile goal also deemed wretched?

the puppeteer!, you’ve returned once more!

To do what?

To make my ragged soul ache further with this hatred?

How dare they stand in the same room as I am!

How dare they get to stand before me!