​LA BELLE ET LA BETE

Everything started one night.
I was in a skip-back hole, drowning in Inception, unable to get out.
I woke up scared at 7:45, went outside just to look at the world.
A new day, a new story, a new place, a new chapter.
We erase black and white from the painting, clean the mess, and add colors.

I was sitting at her window, next to her table,
in silence… a bit of talking, then more talking,
then feelings started rising
until I found myself lost in her maze.

I blame myself, I’m disappointed in myself
because I let jealousy control me.
I can’t stay active and happy — the effect fades,
and I start looking for a new dose.
Until I end up wasted, lost, drunk,
regretting everything when I wake up in the morning.

I know you’re fed up with this state,
with these mood swings, with my character.
I hold myself accountable for everything I do to you.
I try every day to be better.

I know you’re waiting for more from me,
but you pull away when I’m not the man you want,
until everything breaks…
yet I still love you.
I’m tired of lonely days.

I know they told you I cry and that I’ll always love you,
but I just want to continue the journey with you,
even if I know I might end up full of regret,
even if I know I’ll become like Tom
when 500 Days of Summer ends.

I see you as my autumn.
Give me your hand, let’s get away.
My heart is frozen — put your hand on it so it warms up.
I don’t want anything, I just want your heart.

Sometimes I’m in a sad mode, in a sad situation,
even if I look happy and laugh.
If you say you don’t like one of my words,
I change it after half a second.

I run to you when I want to be happy,
when I’m about to explode and need to empty myself.
When I’m drunk…
and when I wake up in the morning — you are my morning hour.

Sometimes I don’t recognize you:
are you with me or against me?
Do you love me or not care about me?
Should I continue or stop here?

I keep thinking about you until it damages me,
words choke me, my tongue gets tangled.
Without you, I’m depressed.