​Modern War Pain

Again me if anybody has any thoughts on this piece😀

Can somebody explain that feeling of being so high, so up, almost manic? Where you just want to rip somebody apart, or maybe get fucked so hard that you forget where you came from, where you are going, and the fact that you are still searching for a job and will definitely be out of money by the end of the week.
You just want to forget about all of that. You want to forget the noises outside, how the train keeps fucking you up in the morning, and how Israel hasn’t pledged a ceasefire while millions of kids are being murdered in Palestine. That’s kinda fucking you up, but not really, because you went out today to have an ice cream and you definitely weren’t thinking of those kids while you were eating it.
And how everything keeps revolving around the same person every day. Because being honest, T, you only have nine days left with him and he doesn’t want to touch you. That rage starts in the center of your chest and you want to throw yourself out the window—not to die, because you want him to worry. You want him to fuck you, and miss you, and maybe love you too. But it sucks, because you don’t really love him. Or maybe you do, depending on the day.
But at this exact moment, you don’t. Because while you are sad, tearing yourself apart in your bed and wanting his touch, he is elsewhere doing his own thing, just not thinking about anything. And later on in his life—probably in about two weeks—he will find himself in this exact same position, but with another woman. And he will definitely not miss you. Not at all.
So at the end of your day, T, my question still remains: what are you going to do?