I actually can’t describe what it feels like to be in love. Everyone lied to me. Everyone said it would be soft and sweet. Like walking through fields of wildflowers, not crawling through broken glass at 2:00 AM, choking on my sobs and showering twice a day just to rinse off the invisible shame.
“It’s the most wonderful thing you’ll ever experience!”
They said with dreamy eyes and Hallmark smiles.
Well, that was wrong. Because so far, love has felt like being hit by a bus, only to apologize to the bus for being in the way. And in all honesty, my experience eating Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups has been more enjoyable than falling in love.
At least the peanut butter doesn’t gaslight me. At least the chocolate doesn’t throw tantrums, or say I’m “too emotional” when I cry after being broken in half.
This wasn’t love.
This was loving someone who held me like I was fragile, then shattered me like glass just to prove they could. Who told me I was the best thing to ever happen to them right before ghosting me for three days straight. I loved someone who said I was “home” then locked the doors behind me.
My body remembers what my mind tries to forget. Tight chest, dizzy head, sobs that shake the soul. I once cried so hard my throat gave out. No voice left to beg, no strength to leave, just a girl in pink lip gloss and hoop earrings trying to survive love that felt like war.
And the worst part? I still wanted him.
Wanted the good parts, the sweet voice, the way he’d say I was “his everything” after making me feel like nothing.
It’s pathetic, I know.
But love makes you stupid. And abuse makes you quiet. So I guess I’m both. Stupid and quiet.
They say love makes you bloom. But I wilted. I withered under his weather. And every time I tried to leave, I remembered how he looked at me once. Like I was the only girl in the world. The kind of look that literally ruins you.
So yeah.
Reese’s? 10 out of 10.
Love?
Zero stars. Would not recommend.
submitted by /u/crybaby_player
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