Gather ’round, friends, in garments of black to cover your back as a symbol of mourning. We honor today a life that has been taken away. Sadly, without much of a warning.
Literally, a monument of integrity, stood by our side with nothing to hide and never failed to watch our backs. Literally was quick to support and offer a report that our statements were genuine facts.
Born in about the fifteenth century and always in the company of Certainty, Literally had but only one enemy. His name: Hyperbole.
Hyperbole never spoke the truth but was very uncouth and was a creature of unhealthy ambition. So he resolved to get others involved, to throw Literally down from his honored position.
As you might know, the poison was slow, with subtle administrations by some. They defied their education, speaking in exaggeration, but attributing Literally as the one.
They spoke so casually, and gradually, Literally was no longer taught in the classes. It seems so silly to me that the name of Literally, is actually Hyperbole for the masses.
So I bow my head in honor of the dead, knowing the light of this world is a little more dim. His estate, once lofty and great, is now reduced to nothing more than a contronym.
submitted by /u/DungeonMarshal
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