​Handshakes are kind of gross. We should switch to the Greek handshake, where you grab each other’s forearms instead.

If someone took a shit and didn’t wash their hands afterwards, I’d rather get their germs on my firearms, which are far less likely to end up getting rubbed on my face than my own hands.

Plus it looks and feels cooler. Try it out and surprise the next person that you need to shake hands with. You’ll feel like Arnold from Predator.

We should have done this during covid.