​Already decided (revised)

Already decided

Jacob cursed at Nel, “Stay still, you useless nag,” as she shifted around.

The sun was mercilessly hot and would be all the worse by noon. Sweat poured down his dirty face, stinging his pores. Pulling a rag from his back pocket, Jacob wiped his face and took a drink from his canteen before trying again. He was in a hurry to get moving.

It was a simple enough task they had. Some cows had broken through, and Jacob had to repair a section of the old fence that ran along the back end of the field. He needed Nel to carry a few bundles of wire down for him. But every time he picked a bundle up, Nel would neigh in protest, turning her tail away. Frustrated and spent, Jacob set the bundle of wire down and stared at the horse.

Back when Nel had been a foal, Jacob had owned four horses and a large herd of cattle. But Jacob had fallen on hard times, selling the farm off piece by piece to keep afloat. Nel was all he had left, along with a few remaining head of cattle.

She had always been a reliable animal, a big copper red Quarter Horse, smart and fine tempered with opaque green eyes. When his wife had finally had enough and left, Nel was all he could depend on. But today she was acting like a mule.

“Look, Nel, you just hold still or this is going to take all day,” Jacob said, stroking her nose with a tender hand, trying to calm Nel, and himself.

Looking into Nel’s cloudy olive green eyes, Jacob felt she understood. Struggling with the heavy bundle again, Jacob finally managed to get the first roll of wire up. Panting and his head spinning, Jacob doubled over, grabbing his knees and taking in long, raspy breaths. “Good girl,” he began to say, but before he could secure it, Nel bucked, knocking the roll off into the dirt.

In a burst of anger, Jacob struck Nel across the mouth and shouted, “You stubborn beast! If you don’t stand still, we’ll never get this fence repaired.”

A silence hung between them, broken by Jacob’s ragged breaths. Nel turned her head and met his glare. Her cloudy eyes clear and focused, with a strange intelligence that wasn’t there before.

“Do not be so hasty,” she spoke in a clear human voice. “Whether we arrive early or late, your fate for the day is already decided.”

Jacob stared in utter disbelief at the horse. “Wha… what did you just say?” he whispered.

Nel didn’t answer; she just stood there, ignoring the question.

Jacob remained still, staring at the horse for a long moment, breathing in the sour smells of sweat and lather, trying to decide what had just happened.

Jacob shook his head.

“What’s happening to me?” he questioned Nel. “Too much time alone or the heat, I guess. Here I’m talking to a mindless horse and expecting an answer. Besides,” he continued, “even if you did speak, what would an old nag like you know about fate?” Jacob half heartedly chuckled.

He slowly walked over to the roll of fencing, careful not to take his eyes off Nel. He was shaken up, to say the least, but hallucination or not, that fence needed fixing. This time, when Jacob lifted the heavy bundle, struggling under the weight, Nel stood still like she always had before.

“That’s a good girl,” he praised after securing the first load, never taking his eyes from her. “Sorry I lost my temper. You know I never mean it, though, right, girl?” Nel looked away.

By the time Jacob was finished lashing the last roll, he was exhausted, but he’d calmed down a bit. “I think this is helping” he said, raising his drink.

They set off through the field, Jacob leading Nel along. It was a long path to the back section, but since she was already carrying quite the burden, Jacob would walk.

As they trod along the well-worn cattle trail, Jacob hummed to himself, trying to remain calm, but he could feel Nel watching him. He kept looking back at the horse, expecting to see that same look of intelligence on her face as when she spoke, hoping to catch her watching him. But every time Jacob tried, Nel had the same old glazed over look.

Passing a large stone in the field, Jacob stopped to take a rest. A cool wind blew, carrying the scent of the sweet prairie grasses. Sitting on the rock, trying to catch his breath, he unscrewed his worn canteen and took a swig, grimacing, eyeing the horse.

“What did you mean back there, Nel?” he gasped . “I… you know I never meant to hit you, right, girl?” Jacob reached out to pet her, but Nel turned her head. “Look, I’m sorry. Don’t look at me like, like her. You don’t need to be afraid of me, Nel.” Jacob pleaded. But Nel just stood there waiting.

Taking another swig, Jacob got up. “Fine, you can sulk just like she used to, but you just keep your damn eyes to yourself.”

By the time Jacob and Nel got to the back section of fence, the sun was a swollen orange sitting high in the sky. Jacob’s cotton shirt was drenched in sweat and sticking to his slight frame. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he took another drink from his canteen, eyeing the horse. For an instant, he thought he saw it, that same clear, intelligent look in her eyes, but Nel just stood there, tail swishing.

“Anything to say?” he asked as he grabbed the fencing from the horse’s back, dropping it to the ground. Flies buzzed around her as Nel shook her head. “That’s what I thought,” Jacob nervously laughed.

Shouldering a roll of wire, Jacob started toward the break in the fence. Nel let out a loud whinny as Jacob walked past. Jacob jumped, dropping the bundle.

He pointed an accusing finger at the horse, shaking it in her face. “You just keep quiet, all right? If you don’t have anything more to say, just keep quiet and carry what needs carrying. You hear me?”

Nel bent her head to the grass.

As Jacob worked, he couldn’t help himself from stopping to look at Nel. Every time he turned to his work, he could feel her stare. But whenever he looked back, Nel just stood there, cropping the short prairie grass.

Jacob wanted her to do something, anything unusual, something to confirm he wasn’t losing it, but she just stood there acting like a regular horse. Taking another drink, he couldn’t take it anymore and marched over to where the horse was standing.

“You go on and speak now, you hear me? Don’t just stand there acting like nothing happened earlier,” Jacob demanded. Nel looked up for a second at the change in tone before returning to her grass.

“I’m not crazy, and it wasn’t the heat. I know you spoke earlier, so you better start talking now, or I’ll beat the hide off you. You hear me, you big dumb horse?” he warned, raising his voice.

But Nel just kept grazing, ignoring Jacob’s threats.

Red in the face now, Jacob started screaming at Nel, fist raised. “Huh? Do you hear me? Speak now, or you’re going to regret it!”

His voice echoed across the empty field. Then everything went quiet except a ringing in his ears. Jacob stood frozen, his hand clawing at his damp shirt, his face twisted in pain. Panting, Jacob fell to his knees. “Just tell me,” he finally pleaded weakly. “Tell me what you meant. What’s going to happen to me? You’re all I’ve got left.”

Nel stood silently staring as Jacob took a last hitching breath and fell forward.

Nel remained standing over Jacob’s body, watching with those intelligent green eyes. A cow lowed in the distance as Nel calmly walked over him and through the break in the fence.