​Dance

Perceptions lead the world don’t they? Fabricated from views on beauty and symmetries. Structure itself strengthened in a symmetrical fashion, even down to anatomic structures. It makes me sick to think that the world doesn’t share something that should be more consistent, more fair. Often I compare myself to people, to things in the world. Entire industries run purely on symmetries and we’d call it beauty, arts, technology, the beauty industry. I know I’ll never look like Audrey Hepburn, and I was ok with it. Something that took me away, some incessant struggle of some insecure person talking about their body.. too fat, too ugly, too muscular. In my opinion they looked better than me, and I know others would agree. I feel like this is how it’d be on a stage, constantly reminded that you’re not going to be young and beautiful forever, to be fit, formed. All pointing back toward professionals you’d pay to help you stay that way for as long as you can, as if it were done on purpose. Maybe in some cases it is.

No doubt we temper our bodies through our work, but does the devil take at will if you aren’t willing trading, sacrificing for a body.. or youth. He’d be some kind of fickle, as if he were human, greedily monetizing on this as if it weren’t some bargain for a soul rather than idealizing a body. Maybe it’s the same? If the people believe that’s beauty, they’ll all want it, making it sacred, only those who are ordained could attain it, or those who sacrifice everything in order to keep it. Isn’t it more beautiful to love yourself and your body? The differences creating a sort of uniqueness that’s beautiful in itself. A smile, a laugh, the way a person moves, the way they think. I can’t imagine being kept from doing what you love because of the perception of others, not having the desired appeal that’s been advertised for so long.

Thoughts of diet and exercise taking your life into obsessions of retaining something that evolves like all life. Science and medicine are wonderful things, innovations and cures to help us thrive and survive. But when is enough, enough? Forming the world into a utopia where we all look the same? Everyone is perfect? What does that mean; perfect? It sounds like a sickness. A complex in superiority in definition. I’d like to think that people should do as they wish, with their natural autonomy and choices impacting themselves. Sitting, standing, exercising, eating, bending, stooping, looping around like some child in field of flowers. The things we’d do to feel better, is right.. isn’t it? A projection and perpetuation of beauty that we feel as perfect infecting other people’s minds to follow suit. I’d like to feel better, my insecurities don’t typically take me until someone projects their own and it kills me inside. Is that insane? No.. Is it insane that they don’t feel ok with themselves? No.. I don’t think that either but it makes me so mad that they wouldn’t find themselves as I see them, and their constant consideration for their own body often makes me feel sick to my stomach. I want them to feel ok with themselves, but how? Should I? Do I have the right to tamper with anyone else’s life?

Psychology would dictate methods to move a psyche toward empowerment, coping with ourselves in ways to move forward past our own traumas. All the ways we hurt ourselves, whether it’s from ourselves or from the world around us. I guess I should seek therapy before acting on anything that might take from someone else’s autonomy, or mind. After all my concerns for myself or someone else shouldn’t stay with me. I think I should express it to them, maybe I owe it to them to make sure they know they’re beautiful. To make them feel ok with themselves and know that it’s ok to be them. That there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to be better, to exercise, to seek supplementations to help. Their perpetuated insecurities churns my insides, how much would they change? Should I have to change to fit their idea of perfect? Or should they be forced to feel it’s ok to not be perfect? Taking down the entire construct itself.. reforming it into something that’s specific to you, a personal belief of perfection. That is perfect; change, don’t, but it’s yours and your choice to lead your life how you’d want with the world supporting you for you, separate from a body secured into some categorized box fit for a fixed facet. To be you in all directions that you’d want to go, without anything, or anyone else telling you where that is or what it would look like.