​Hi! I need honest opinions on my five page narrative for my 11th grade literature class so far. This is only less than two pages. Isn’t anywhere near done yet!!

Bonnie’s First Act of Becoming

In the eloquent town of Ashland, Oregon, there lived a young, red-headed girl named Bonnie Rose. Bonnie was a quite “unremarkable” sixteen-year-old girl in the year 1960, blending into the rest without much notice. With her unassuming appearance, she often went unnoticed—an overlooked figure amidst the busy streets of Ashland.

However, beneath her wearisome appearance lay a thoughtful soul with extensive aspirations for the future. Bonnie Rose had always dreamed of becoming an actress, ever since she attended the Ashland Shakespeare Festival in 1958. When Bonnie noticed her acquaintance Eileen June performing in Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet. The show had finally ended, then along came Eilee, her long chestnut brown hair bouncing as she flashed her pearly-white teeth at Bonnie. “Bonnie Rose, we have open auditions for the upcoming production of Annie Get Your Gun. With your intolerable red hair, you’d be a perfect fit!” As Eileen handed Bonnie a flier for the upcoming production, she began to mutter—her tone overwhelmed with friendliness that didn’t feel quite authentic. “Of course it’s just a small-town theater,” Eileen added with a slight smirk, “but it might be the perfect fit for someone like you—I wish you the best of luck, Bonnie Rose.” Bonnie, being the oblivious and pure-hearted girl she is, gave off a genuine smile to Eileen. “Thank you, Eileen! Your performance tonight was outstanding—I hope to be that good one day.”

Later rushing home to reenact the balcony scene, she was beyond inspired—perhaps in awe. As Bonnie stood on her purple wooden chair, delivering Juliet’s lines with every ounce of passion she had, her mother walked in, shaking her head in disbelief. Although Bonnie often shared her dreams with Mr. and Mrs. Rose, the two didn’t care to acknowledge her desire in pursuing her life-long dream.

Bonnie’s parents countlessly encouraged her to pursue a more “stable” career, such as a nurse or a lawyer. Besides, Bonnie wasn’t beautiful—she didn’t even believe she was—but she knew that onstage, looks don’t matter. Acting let her become a different person, which is something she always longed to be—someone the world couldn’t ignore.

As Bonnie’s father always told her, “Bonnie, never try to be something you’re not, you’ll end up humiliating yourself—and us. You need to face reality.” Bonnie Rose, being the ambitious lady she was born to be, didn’t pay much mind to the disapproval of her parents. Despite their doubts, Bonnie knew deep down that she was meant for something more than this quiet life in Ashland.

The disapproval of what seemed like everyone around Bonnie stung her heart, but it also stirred something rebellious inside of her. She despised the idea of letting her dear parents down, but there was a burning desire that simply couldn’t be ignored. As much as she hated to admit it, Bonnie sometimes wondered if her father was right. Besides, parents know best. For a brief moment, Bonnie began to believe him. Maybe she was just another face from a small town, doomed to fade into the background. But then she’d think about the brilliant Eileen June, performing her lines so confidently with her long brown hair flowing down her back. How could Eileen achieve something so great despite her bitter heart? Eileen owned the role of Juliet, and so could Bonnie Rose.

As Bonnie stood by her window listening to the songs of the blue jays and imagining herself on stage, the doubt inside of her began to fade—as if nature itself was urging her to pursue her dreams. She began to realize that acting was the only thing that made her feel truly alive, and she knew that it was the only route she could take. It was the only time Bonnie felt completely herself, as if she could finally be something more than just “Bonnie Rose: The Ashland Schoolgirl.”

Bonnie longed to be something more—someone who could escape the small town life, someone who wouldn’t be overlooked by the world.

submitted by /u/EccentricThought
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