​Homesick Lover

Stop trying to figure me out,
Stop trying to make me stay,
I aspire to leave,
And never to stay.

Stop trying to fix me,
I am not cracked glass or rust.
I am not a prize,
In your cabinet of dust.

How could I ever be yours
When I have never been mine?
How do you build a home
From ruins you call a spine?

Don’t pretend you know me,
I don’t know me either.
God has seen me cry,
But the devil has seen me weep later.

I am not your story,
I am not your end.
I am not your war,
Nor the peace you pretend.

I am that fleeting desire,
That once you’re older, you will despise.
I am a homesick lover,
I will run away faster than light.

Make it easier,
I am wanderlust.
Speak for us,
It’s not love, it’s just lust.

I am damaged enough to be desired,
Too broken to be inspired.
My memories leave marks behind,
My presence leaves scars alive.

I am not meant to stay,
I am the ache that survives.