This place, what is this place? Ah, yes. I have been here before. I feel like I’ve always belonged here, even when I hated it. This bleak and desolate landscape, full of my fears. It is littered with all my ideas of failure and disappointment at myself. All my hopelessness lies in here. I know this, it’s all familiar. It’s claustrophobic, suffocating, almost crushing to the soul. I have been here, many times now, more than I can remember. I have always been either dragged or pushed into here; yet it does not matter now. All I know is that I must leave, as I have been before. I just need to find a way out.
You are here again. Welcome home. You know you have always belonged to this place. Do you know why you always come back here? Because this is where you are destined to be. Does it not strike you why each time you leave, you gravitate back? It’s simply because your soul is tied to hopelessness. You don’t need to give up, you just need to embrace. You are here. Doesn’t matter how many times you rise up. I will always be here, and you will always find yourself back here. I am your inevitable end, you know that. You efforts are meaningless, for there is only me: I am your truth and your end.
You, who are you? Ah, yes. I know who you are. You are the one trying to tie me down here. You will not win. You never did, and you never will. It is true I have been here before, it is true I unfortunately find myself here back again. But I will always find myself out. And one day, I will be out for good. You know I will not stay here forever, that one day I will win. And we all know I am stubborn. I know you know, you have seen how much I hurt myself just to escape this place. I simply hate you and everything you represent. That is enough to fuel me out of this place you label as the inevitable end.
I know you’re afraid I will win. Deep inside you, there is me. Your fear of failure, of being a disappointment. I know your fears, all of it. Your fear feeds me. I know you’re afraid that one day, you’ll be too much of a burden. I know your aches. I know the silent pains of your soul, the struggles you endure in solitude. I know that time will come when I will win. But, don’t despair. My victory does not mean your defeat; for we are one and the same. My victory means eternal comfort for you. No more anxiety, no more pain, no more sleepless nights. I know that you know that only I can offer you relief from the exhaustion in your heart.
You are correct, I am afraid of being a disappointment. And to tell you, even your victory will be a disappointment for me; as my fight will be for nothing by then. And to add to that, you know how spiteful I am, of you. I will fight, and I will win, if not out of hope then simply out of my hatred towards you. I will defeat you because I despise you. For now I may stay in this bleak place. Sure, I am confined here for now. But know that I will find myself out again. And if fate ever finds me back here, I will defeat you again. You cannot contain me. In the shadows I have always been lost, but I will always rise again. I am tired, but I’m tired of you, specifically. I’m tired of seeing your face. I will win, because I am motivated by my will to never see you and this place ever again.
No. I know the nights you cried alone in the dark, crushed by thoughts you couldn’t silence. I was there. I know the times your mind turned against you, when escape felt like the only mercy left. I held your hand. I know how close you came to surrendering, not because you wanted to disappear, but because you were so unbearably tired of carrying everything by yourself. I was with you all the while. Every ache you feel echoes in me. Every tear you shed, I feel it. I can feel your heart straining under the weight of its own suffering, crying out for relief from pain and punishment. I know how deeply you yearn for rest. It is all familiar to me, for I know the burden you carry. And you know I hold the answer, that I hold the solution to your ails. I don’t need to say it. Come to me, and it will all be at ease. I know you want this. I can sense your hesitation, but I can also feel that each time we find each other here, you are one step closer to me. We can end it now. We can win now. I can promise you the thing you always yearned for: relief. Suffering will be no more.
Yes. I remember it all: the pain, the sleepless nights, the suffocating weight of your presence. I remember hating you for being here, for daring to exist inside me. But I am done. I am done with your whispers, your shadows, your false promises of relief. One day, I will rise above you. Every scar you carved, every ache you fed me, every doubt you planted, all will break beneath my will. You will one day be nothing but a hollow echo. I will step through the walls you built, leaving them to crumble behind me. One day, I will take my life, my breath, my soul back from your grasp. You may now be my torment, my cage, my shadow; but know that I will also be the storm that destroys you. And then, I will not return. I will be free. For I am more than you. And as I walk into the light beyond, your voice fades, your power dies, and I am finally, wholly, victorious.
I am simply too pissed-off to die.
submitted by /u/rymnd0
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