​Journal

Journal

🎶 Beautiful Maddness by Agnes 🎶 d£aler by Lola Young 🎶 Walking After Midnight by Ki:Theory 🎶 Free Your Mind by En Vogue

Always love the drive home—despite the suicidal deer playing hopscotch in the middle of the road at 2 a.m.

Kitties crying at the door as I rummage, trying to find the key 🔑 in the dark. Wish they could open it for me.

Time them with cuddles, love, kisses, and Churu. I think snow ❄️ in the mornin’, and T therapist… Mom and Mom are talking. Going to be a rough 😅 week. Back-to-back appointments with both. Nothing like getting double-teamed by two therapists. My best-laid plans… sure wish I’d stop having these “brilliant ideas.”

I did NOT comment on Insta, even though part of me wanted to tonight. She did a segment on covert narcissism. I could have spit out coffee today when it came online. Wanted so much to say, “Rich coming from you! And maybe leave it to the professionals—like Dr. Ramani.” it would have slapped her through the computer. …but I held my tongue.

I didn’t post a mirror either—would just be trying to start a fight. She knows my name, soooo… hard when you still deeply care about someone, miss them but they hurt you badly. But poking the bear? As much as it is fun…my ability to run fast has decreased.

So hard to be good. Must be hard losing two mirrors—her. Really should stop following again. Her ex will be starting her own group soon, I heard recently, and I’m so 😊 giddy about it.

Hard not to comment sometimes, especially when part of you is begging internally. Can’t trust the hands sometimes when I type.

Probably a good idea to hit the store for some tequila and a decorative shot glass. For now, I have to settle for hot chocolate, music, and soon—sleep.

Gotta charge vapes: Sour Strawberry Kiwi and Banana Freeze. Got to be ready to chain smoke through session again. Yep, picture of internal regulation.

Treasured moments: Buddha and his beautiful kitty face staring at me as he drapes his body over my leg, gazing deeply at me with his Maine Coon amber eyes—grabbing at me with a big grey paw for pets. His little meows.

Eris staring at me in the cat post meowing when she wants to go to bed. Poor Eris i think she has kitty PTSD now from all the moving. I cant dig in boxes without her getting upset and underfoot.

Got drive to town in the mornin. Internet sucks out here bc I am cheap.