​To Mom; part ll

I remember you still talked to J after that. Im not fucking stupid; I saw the caller ID when he was calling you at the store. Its pretty funny actually, I remember after he was caught with a wild amount of child porn, you looked at her and said ,”thank God it wasn’t you guys.” Was that a joke because I’m still waiting on the punchline. You’re so toxic for that. You shouldn’t even be around kids.

Fast forward to like seven years ago, you turned into a doormat for my other sister, the oldest one. We use to be close, even though LEH was five years older than me; until she turn into a two faced, lying, thieving junkie. LEH was always your first priority, your poster child for some unknown reason. Your dynamics with each other is just insane to me; I wish I could be impaled by that type on motherly love, with the face only a mother could love.

Detox centers, rehab, and methadone clinics. All of it on your dime. Telling us shes sober when she clearly nodding out on her prescribed dog food. Remember when her second baby daddy died while she was pregnant. LEH couldn’t run fast enough after he was born, thus leaving you with the motherly responsibility. I would see her walking the streets sometimes with her new junkie boyfriend, she looked so ate the fuck up.

You were so incapacitated by her toxicity. Remember it took her months to tell you that she was pregnant for the third time, while she was still doing H, crack, and whatever else she could get her grubby hands on. I remember you telling her that you weren’t going to take in another one, I told you that you shouldn’t have, but you did it anyways after she was born. DCFS never gotten involved in a case so quickly.

Since then you had custody of all three. LEH had to cut off all of her hair, her teeth rotted. You see what your enabling does? Now, I guess shes a lot better; I wouldnt know because when I see her on the holidays, there’s no words to be had.

You remember when K, LEH oldest started talking to grown ass men on her Snapchat at eleven and twelve because of her severe abandonment issuse, the taught manipulation that only her mother could teach. K giving out your address to pedophiles so they can send her gifts and money. Hundreds of sexually exploited messages, photos and videos. A bunch of different people too from all over. Remember when she was messaging that one fuck; he was about to pick her up from your house, go the the airport, go to Houston, and she would’ve never been seen again? God, you’re so fucking stupid.

The stupid fucking family meeting was called, although we may as well never even talked about it again. You and LEH didn’t want to give the phone to the cops, or even have them involved. The big, bad, scary dcfs was going to apparently take them, isn’t that right? You also threw the thought around that K would be in trouble for having some pics of her younger siblings.

She and I both told you guys to get the cops involved, but to no avail. Let’s just all seat on the sidelines, to act like nothing happened. No punishment, taking away Ks phone was enough for you to ignore what the fuck actually just happened. Telling me its all of our faults this happened, telling me I need to come around more; apparently K pulled the crocodile tears when she got caught and stamped my name on it like I’m the issue. Because I dont come around, I mean DO YOU FUCKING BLAME ME.

Part 3 later.

Part 1:

https://www.reddit.com/r/creativewriting/comments/1p9nw5y/to_mom/