What if I faint, what if I panic and want to leave?
What if I get there and feel so out of control and everyone can see it?
What if they look at me and think I’m crazy?
What if my car breaks down?
What if I run out of water, and get thirsty, and then I get a headache?
What if the lift stops, and I’m stuck?
What if they say no? What if they don’t like me? What if they’re so bored of me being like this that they finally leave? What if they decide enough is enough?
What if I’m like this forever, what if I get so deep into this hole that I forget to live?
What if I’m in control of all of this?
What if it’s me who controls the narrative?
What if I say no, fuck this?
What if it does go right? What if it’s fine?
What if I go, and I have fun, and I make a genuine connection, and what if it makes my soul feel nourished?
What if I hold the answers? What if I already hold the key to my happiness and for a while I just misplaced it?
What if I find the key, and I open the door and I am drenched in the most glorious sunlight, and what if I finally see?
That asking my brain impossible questions will never bring back the me I so desperately crave to be?
submitted by /u/Otherwise_Crab9619
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