​Would Love a Reader’s Take on My Writing Style and Clarity, Looking for Fresh Eyes

I’d love to get your thoughts on a short passage (under 200 words) from my novel. I’m mainly looking for feedback on the prose, how it reads, whether it feels natural and engaging, and if the tone or rhythm works.

I’m not asking about the plot or story at this stage, just the language and prose itself.

Please note that the third paragraph may include ideas that aren’t entirely clear on their own, as this passage is taken from Chapter 13.

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and share your impressions, I really appreciate it.

here is the text :

( The concrete pier loomed ahead; dark, half-lost to time. Scattered lamps along the perimeter flickered dimly, casting uneven bands across the concrete. From her position at the bow, Merian saw the shore as a pale outline of shadow and shape.

They were close now.

She had left the wheelhouse minutes earlier, the cold hitting her skin sharply out here, the sea’s salted weight pressing in. Leaning into the wind, she locked her eyes on the indistinct forms ahead.
But her mind wasn’t on the dock.

Her thoughts slipped deeper, into the unspoken rule that shaped every step: one seat, one life, rooted not in love but in cruel reality, the bloodline of youth weighed against the burden of years. Elegant on paper, it cut like a blade in the heart. Sarah had chosen her son, and Bernard his younger brother, both over their aging parents. Even Larja had made his call, sparing his daughters while he stayed to face the unknown.)