​April 1st, 2160

*Attention inhabitants of Planet Earth. We are under attack. We are under attack. We are under attack… * – stupid damn radio system, we know we are under fucking attack!

•Captain! Captain!

•Sup Joe?

•We are under a…

•Shut the fuck up Joe if I hear it once more… I swear…

•Got it captain. What do we do?

•Mmm lemme think.

•Sure sir.

•Who is attacking us?

•I dunno sir, the message just said that we are under a…

•Shut up!

•Sorry sir… It won’t happen again.

•Shut up, let me think…

•Sure sir

•Shut up I said! Do we have any defence system ready to fry the attackers?

•Yes sir, but…

•We gotta fight back

•Fight back who?

•Whoever is messing with us. They will regret messing with homo sapiens. You mess with sapiens, you get humo’d.

•Yes sir.

•Activate all “defence” systems

•Yes sir.

•Great, let the fun begin

•Sir?

•Yes?

•Where are we aiming our attack at?

•Dunno. Need more information

•Sir, I’ll try and contact the central area 52.

Pi pi pi pi pi pi pi pi •Hello commander sirs; Joe here. We are under a…

•Oh for the love of god, we know, shut up. Give it to me Joe. Hey alexander.

•Hi Captain, Lex here…

•Who or what is attacking us?

•You won’t believe it cap… Ants.

•Stupid ants?

•Stupid ants.

•Easy peasy then, no need to go nuclear. How threatining is the situation?

•Quite rough cap…

•Quite rough? Ah shit aight, send a nuke to France, now.

•But sir, why?

•Never liked those fuckers, emergency situations are to be taken advantage of.

•Got it sir, impact will be in two minutes. Shall we notify them?

•Nah this is an emergency, son.

•Roger that.

•How many of them, Alexander?

•Millons, cap.

•Are we surrounded?

•Yes, cap.

•Shit. Shit. Shit. Motherbiters these ants. Prepare all the ants extinguishers.

•But cap..

•No buts Alexander, butts are for crapping and we got plenty of that to deal with.

•But cap, if we extinguish them, we will no longer be able to eat our cakes.

•Our cakes?

•Yes cap, they are eating our cakes!

•You gotta be kidding. How many of us down?

•None, they are ignoring us.

•How big are they?

•Regular size..

•Then why all this? We just whopped France from the map.

•Because Captain, the radio system doesn’t read brackets.

•WHAT- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? What was the original message?

•Let me ask the higher central…BIPBIP. Got an answer

•So?

•This was the message sir – Attention inhabitants of Planet Earth. We are under attack. We are under attack. We are under attack… (the ants are eating our cakes, happy april fools).

•SHIT. FUCK, SHIT. Lex, Joe, grab a pill of cyanide each, there is no way we can undo this mess. It has been a pleasure fighting alongside with y’all.

•But sir, what about family?

•Family? There is nothing more important than reputation and ours, comrades, is ruined.

•Sir…

•Obey to your superior, comrade. That is all. War dismissed. We’ve lost to our own foolishness.

•Bye sir, it has been a pleasure.

•Bye world. Bye captain. Bye ants…

•Sir? I don’t know how to swallow a pill, sir? Sir? Sir? SIR?? He is dead… I’m out of here gotta eat some of that cake.