An essay to express the feelings of loss I currently harbour:
When last were you in love?
“In love”.
“In”.
I’m not talking about the love you have for your gorgeous labrador, or even that which you have for your first child while you wonder about their future as they stare at you from their hospital crib.
I’m talking about the love that reaches into the depth of your soul, does a clean out of everything that hinders, and cleanses the filter through which you view the world.
The love that causes you to think about her at every turn. The song. The sunrise. The sea. They all recall the beauty of your amor who has arrested the very fibre of your being.
That love.
When last did you feel “that”?
Was it recent enough, strong enough, to remember?
Mine was only weeks ago. It was a gradual process. One that crept up on me, and slipped into my body without my first notice. And before I knew it she was in everything I was doing.
And then she was gone.
Like a bullet out of the blue sky, the text message struck me straight to the temple, and brought nothing but darkness. It was over in a moment.
Emotional chaos ensued.
Life is good. Family are healthy. I am healthy. Money is good. Weather is good.
But their colour is missing. They appear dull.
Merry songs don’t seem quite as merry. The sunrise doesn’t quite astonish as it did before. A sadness has swallowed me up, and I swim in an ever-present bowl of haze.
I have a question.
As a man of logic. A mind of reason. I am all too aware of the chemical reactions that cause all of these feelings.
Love is an evolutionary response to the possibility of a worthy mate. Compounds flood our brain and bloodstream, sending our consciousness into an ecstasy that we never want to come down from.
Quite remarkably, science seems to have identified many of the substances that increase human happiness. Many of the developed world regularly take such medications in order to maximise the enjoyment of life itself. But it would seem that no such medication exists to replicate the euphoria of love.
For those who are restricted in their ability to be a valuable partner to someone else… For those perhaps too tired… For those broken by the one with whom they will never have again…
Where is our chemical compound?
Our scientific potion to enrapture us into the bliss of love?
Are we condemned to its memory only?
submitted by /u/meaninglessartist
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