I love you Cory.
That’s all her note said. She loved me but left me? Her body left limp on the bed. Empty bottles on every side like she didn’t know which to take so she took it all.
My body was numb. My thoughts weren’t connecting, not bridging enough to make a sentence when I called 911.
“Girlfriend. Dead.” I said. I felt my stomach turn.
“Sir, can you hear me? Sir? Are you in danger?” I can hear her but I can’t respond. “Hold on, I’m tracing your call.”
My back falls against the wall and I slide down dropping to the ground. The police came quick I think, but I stayed on the floor as they knocked and then came in. Into the bedroom and they immediately rushed towards her on the bed. I was crying now. I felt the tears streaming down and dripping off my chin.
“Sir, are you okay?” an officer was asking me. I couldn’t form words and when he spoke I think I started crying harder “Sir, what’s your name?”
“Cory.” I tried to make out as best as I could. “Cory Murcey.”
The officer tried to raise me to my feet and help me out of the room as more police and aid officers filed in.
“Whats your relation to the woman in the room Cory?” the officer asked.
“My girlfriend,” my breathing had calmed down just enough to control the crying, “We live here together.”
“Are you okay if I ask a few more questions?”
I nodded and sniffled.
“How long have you two lived together?”
“Um, going on three years, but, uh, we just moved in here about six months ago.”
It took two full runs with a uhaul and my truck bed to move us because she has so much big furniture. She said she couldn’t help herself. She loved loved loved estate and antique sales. She had gotten great deals and didn’t want to part with any of it. The buffet, a big clunky drafting table, the round kitchen table with matching chairs. But I loved that she loved to decorate our home.
“When did you find her in the bedroom?”
“I called 911 when I walked in and saw her laying there.”
“Did you just get home?”
“Yes. I was working.” I could feel the tears starting to boil up around my eyes. “I was working at a different site today, Reno and Pitts.”
“What do you do?”
“I’m a locum pharmacist.”
“Locum?”
“Traveling pharmacist. Small pharmacies that have one full time pharmacist, like ones inside of family drug and grocery stores, I cover their sick days, vacations, stuff like that.”
“Where were you working today?”
“Morrie Grocerers.” The officer took notes as I tried my best to answer his questions. My body felt shaky. “I believe I left just after 7:30, she made my coffee this morning.”
Her hand met mine handing over the coffee cup. She kissed my cheek and gave me the beautiful smile she always wore.
“Did your girlfriend have any mental health problems? Do you know if she saw anyone for anything?”
“She has a really hard time sleeping so she has a prescription for Ambien but that’s all.”
“Ambien is a sleeping aide?”
“Yes, it’s zolpidem, a uh, sedative-hypnotic medication.”
“Had she been sleeping with the medication? Had you noticed any changes in her behavior?”
My heart starts beating faster. I don’t know. Truthfully we hadn’t spent my time on the same schedule lately. I was working a lot. She was finishing her degree and working evenings too. “She’s been stressed lately. She has finals coming up.”
She came home last night and cuddled up next to me. I felt her touch even though I was sleeping, I felt her touch. Like she entered my dreams.
“She was going to school?”
“Yes. She’s finishing her last credits needed for her masters in social work.” I could feel my eyes filling again. I was going to start crying again and the officer knew.
“I think that can be all for now.” He said putting his arm on my shoulder, “Is there anyone we can call for you?”
“Uh, her parents. I don’t think I can do it.”
“We can take care of that.”
The officer left me sitting on our couch. The house was full of police coming and going. They huddled by the bedroom door talking in low hush voices. The officer who spoke with me joined them.
She stood in the door just six months ago. I watched her lean against the doorway and plan how the set up could work.
“We could put the bed on the wall with the window, put the dresser between the door for the closet and the bathroom.” she said.
I can hear her voice so vividly.
“Mr. Murcey?” An officer asked. I was brought back to the scene. “Mr. Mercury?”
“Yes. Sorry.” I said, shaking my head. Trying to turn down her voice that echoing inside my empty head.
“I know Officer Santana asked you a few questions already but I would like to ask a few myself if you’re up to it.”
“Uh,” her voice still pulled my insides apart, “Yeah. Anything.”
“I do see that a few bottles were around her. Some in her name like the ambien and and xanax but there is a bottle of oxycontin that is in yours.”
I shook my head with confusion, “Xanax? She wasn’t taking xanax.”
“The date on the bottle is recent so maybe you are unaware. But the oxycontin was yours. Where was it kept?”
My confusion deepened. “In the bathroom. In the cabinet, that’s where all the medication is kept.”
“I’m very sorry for your loss, Mr. Murcey. At this point, it appears she may have taken her own life. She’ll be taken to the medical examiner’s office where they’ll perform an autopsy to officially determine the cause of death. But based on what we see so far, it looks like an overdose.” He stood over me for a moment. “There was this sticky note on the nightstand.”
I took it from him. I love you Cory. Her handwriting. I felt my chest cave in.
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