​My own story I’m 13 i need criticism on this please I’m only on the 4th chapter based on Subnautica

Salvage of the Abyss: The Book

Chapter 1: From The Start.

‘All passengers must move to the lifepods immediately.’

said the intercom since we were being shot down from an unknown energy source inside of the planet.

‘I am attempting a controlled descent.’

Those words were the last I thought I’d ever hear again from a person. From the captain of the Capital-class ship known as the Aurora.

As I was trying to comprehend what just happened, I heard a bang, and 2 seconds later, I was unconscious.

Once I woke up, I saw fire. Nothing else. Just straight fire.

I soon put the fire out with a fire extinguisher and dived into the ocean filled planet.

When I tell you that this is the most diverse planet known to mankind, I mean it. My PDA booted up in emergency mode and gave me the quote, ‘You have suffered minor head trauma. This is considered as an optimal outcome.’

Not very optimal is it? Then I realised how I blacked out earlier.

I started looking around for materials to use for a repair tool to fix up my lifepod. It struck me. How will I leave this planet?

I later started stacking up on these limestone outcrops which give me the most important yet common material, Titanium and Copper.

These will be very useful for making a base somewhere. Well, until help arrives. I made a scanner to determine threat levels of different fauna and flora and discovered a crashfish hiding in its little spot waiting for me… and exploded. I was fascinated by the cave sulfur behind its nest.

I grabbed it and for some reason, my hand felt really dry. I went to my lifepod and took off my gloves to scan myself. “Vital signs are normal. Continuing to monitor.” came up on my scanner.

Realising that I had enough materials to make the repair tool, I made it in a rush and fixed up my lifepod. The following message played from the radio, “Rescue operation will be dispatched in 9..9..9..9..9..9 hours.

Continuing to monitor emergency transmissions from other lifepods.” I stupidly thought others would be alive.

I started wondering what to do next as I never found the blueprint for the Neptune escape rocket and didn’t take it with me in the hurry. And then my PDA started glitching, saying random words aloud. “The Aurora will have a quantum detonation within 10 minutes. The drive core is now leaking radiat-t-t-t-t” and then randomly stopped. I was worried because it sounded like the word radiation. And also the part where it said “quantum detonation”…

So I posted up on top of my floating, orange lifepod and stared at the crashed Aurora.

Chapter 2: Quantum Radiation.

Whilst I was looking at the Aurora, the PDA I had on me randomly started up again and said, “-t-t-tion. T-minus 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-3-3-2-1.” I closed my eyes but curiosity got the better of me and I peeked at the exploding Aurora before my eyes.

My PDA stated that for my convenience, a radiation suit was added to my many blueprints.

I got back into my lifepod and checked my blueprints on how to make it. It said 2 synthetic fibres and 4 titanium. I then went down to the newly discovered Kelp Forest biome to look for the materials that made synthetic fibres. I found the material called creepvine, slashed off a couple pieces and made my way to my metal salvages. I took 1 of them to make the 4 titanium I needed to make the radiation suit.

Got back to my lifepod to make it and… my radio was gone. I checked everywhere in the surrounding biome, nothing. I then checked my storage capsule and it was laying there, looking like it got ripped out. I was so confused but ended up deciding it was nothing. I made the radiation suit and tried finding the seaglide fragments to make it. Before the radio was destroyed, I got one of those distress signals. It was from Lifepod 3 saying don’t leave without them as their emergency seaglide was damaged by a creature known as a Stalker. I went over to find a hole torn out off the side of the lifepod. I went behind it and saw their destroyed seaglide that looked like it exploded.

I scanned it and went inside the lifepod to see if there was any sign of them. The only evidence of them being inside of here was one of their PDAs on the floor. I ignored it and went back to the Kelp Forest to pick up some materials. I finished up and went back to my lifepod to make the seaglide. The millisecond it was done, I went to the front of the Aurora, and heard a roar from behind me, becoming louder and louder. I strafed to the right, into the Aurora where this ‘creature’ could possibly not enter. I looked behind me to see a reaper leviathan, hungry for food. I had a mini heart attack and then went on to the Aurora structure. It was filled with these crab looking things with sharp pincers. They stinged but not that bad. I went up to the second floor, only for the same thing to happen but with the only entrance covered with fire. At least there were little caches with very useful stuff inside like spare batteries and food. There was also a fire extinguisher there, somehow. I made my way through to the Storage Bay, with massive pieces of a vehicle known as a Cyclops. I headed down only to see the mesmerising Bleeders. These little brats hang on to your arm and drink your blood slowly, like a vampire. But in a way it sort of drugs you to feel pleasure, so you don’t try to take them off and then they kill you. Pretty annoying. But some weird people cut off blood supply to their own arms and let the bleeders give them the ‘drug’ for pleasure. I killed them all before they leeched on to me and I went to the Drive

Core to repair it. I then found 50 more bleeders and knew what I had to do. I cut off blood supply to my arm, whilst I used the other arm for the repair tool. I repaired the drive core and then took my knife and slashed all of them. I went back to the front of the Aurora only to find out that the same leviathan was waiting for me to come out. I had to go out the even more dangerous way so that it didn’t see me and try to eat me alive. I got to the Grassy Plateaus, a seemingly harmless biome but filled with dangers.

Chapter 3: The Depths Of The Seas.

The second I go and try to take a sandstone crop for some silver to make a wiring kit, I get attacked by a drugged shark. Then a biter tries to do its thing, bites me, and makes me bleed on my thigh. I stab it and swim as fast as possible back to my lifepod. With my seaglide of course. I made it back and made a stasis rifle with my leftover materials. My mission now is to use the seamoth depth module MK1 but I never got a seamoth. Luckily, I got some fragments from the seamoth bay in the Aurora.

I had to get loads of materials so I spent the next 30 minutes of my day getting some stalker teeth to use as the perfect substrate for strong glass, or enameled glass. I’m not sure why it took so long but I guess their teeth are tough to get out of their gums.

Another half an hour gone towards getting enough copper and silver for a lifetime. I don’t get why they’re so rare to find but I got them at last. I also had to blow another hour towards finding a moonpool and vehicle upgrade console fragments. Those would help me park and upgrade the seamoth to a leviathan-seeking killing machine. Hopefully I can install a torpedo arm and a drill arm to help increase the pain. Those ‘apex predators’ can and will die to my wrath. But anyways, I got together some lithium and titanium to make the moonpool and the vehicle upgrade console and voila! Now all I need is the diamond for the outer shell of the seamoth. I went to the Mushroom Forest

to grab some shale outcrops when I heard a thunderous bellow from 40 meters above me. It was the same Reaper Leviathan specimen from about 2 weeks ago. When I was trying to get off the Aurora into the Grassy Plateaus. And it was rushing at me, with incredible force and 4 long mandibles at the front of the specimen’s head.

I swiftly moved out of the way, used the stasis rifle from half a day ago and started killing the leviathan. I administered an LD50 of sucrose so he had a bad death.

I really don’t like those Reapers, they creep me out.

I grabbed the rest of the diamonds I needed for the outer shell of the Seamoth and also had to carry the dead Reaper Corpse. It was a tough one but I managed.

I went to make the seamoth on the Mobile Vehicle Bay and the little bots flew into the air, and for a second, I realized that they fabricated the seamoth, just like the fabricator in the lifepod and my base. Oh yeah, I forgot to say I made a base. It has everything a person needs. But after all that ranting, it was done. The Seamoth is in front of me, shinier than ever. I took it for a spin, and then put it inside my moonpool for some upgrades. Luckily, I did the hard stuff beforehand so the crush depth is 500 meters, instead of 200.

There’s also a sonar, to map out the geography of the landscape, just in case it’s dark and I see a Reaper Leviathan.

In case of said Reaper attack, there is an electronic shockwave to incapacitate the Reaper. And lastly, a Seamoth Solar charger. This upgrade improves energy with solar panels on the top of the Seamoth.

Chapter 4: Floating Island.

I was soon at the floating island, it was lustrous, beautiful and thriving with life. I exited my new Seamoth, and took my first step on the island. I took some samples of the flora there to see if it was edible or not. I took a sniff of the lantern tree sample and it smelled… fresh. As in, it was recently grown. I looked up into the beautiful midnight sky, and saw bases; one on each side of the island. Maybe there were people still on this island, the ones who planted the flora. I went up to the one on the west side and found another PDA. I felt shivers go down my spine as the chilling silence filled my ears. A PDA for a “Margrueit.”

I picked it up and decided to throw it away, just in case they died, which was most likely, and wasn’t coming back.

I found my way back down to find another base with a glowing purple sort of tablet on the ground, next to the desk with a PDA belonging to a “Bart”. I left the PDA behind just in case the same happened to this ‘Bart’, whoever he was. Maybe he would come back and see someone was in their habitat, and would come searching for me..

I left the location of the first habitat and started walking to the other one that I saw earlier. And I stopped in my tracks to lay down, rest, and stare at the beautiful, mesmerising night sky. And about an hour or so later, it was day and I was at the other habitat. Now this one was interesting as there was yet again, another PDA. This one, from “Paul Torgal.” But then I remembered. Paul was one of my old friends back in Morocco. He was really kind and couldn’t even hurt a fly. But the voice recordings in his PDA changed me. Probably gave me trust issues

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