​The Fears in the Night

I’ve never felt so alone while laying next to one I loved. It’s a dark feeling knowing you’re the weed that’s stopped the flowering of a relationship. That you’re the one causing this toxic situation. That you’ve become the poison.

Days filled of love seem to fade in the presence of the end, my mind caught in restless though. It seems my time wasted by no fault but mine. I can tell there’s no hope in her voice, and she’d deny it till the day she died. I know she’s smarter, but I can read better. Her back is to me… her attention somewhere else… but I know her mind is identical to mine, “Is it done? “Is this is finale?”. God I fucked this up… Did I finally let that guard down, just to ruin it all? In my own insecure attempts to feel good, I pushed away the one I need the most. I don’t know if it would have worked in the end, but it hurts more to not be able to find out. I know the end is a stones throw away, but I hope this stone is in the air for a while.

C.R.B. (08/11/24 11:40pm)