​Why I Smokes Weed

So, I lives in a low swampy area way up in the hills, and we have us a skeeter problem hereabouts. Nets are no good… Bug spray? The youngster skeeters around here goes to the trading post and buys it themselves. You’d wants to avoid them… bad company. Them candles is okay but when you gots candles turned on you gots to smokes weed. That’s what the candles is for… to lights the weed.

At least, that is always the way I seen it.

What ends up happening is I just goes to smoking up enough weed to keeps the skeeters back. Then I takes a broom and sweeps them all outside.

My dog is always happy, but he sometimes falls over and gets swupt out with the skeeters. Good Coon dog, though… when you cans gets him to bother.

Oh I needs to tell ya’ll the other reason I smokes weed. I likes to keep my weight down. The coughing uses up them calories, you see… the more I smokes… the more I coughs… the harder the work out. Lots of skeeters, needs lots of smoke to put ’em down.

I’m naturally big boneded… just imagines if I stopped smoking weed… I’d blows up considerable. As it is…

I’m plum fit.

For my size.